An Appointment

I consider myself a semi-professional of the doctor office after this past year! The cardiologist is my favorite; I know exactly where to sit when I go in so that I have the best view of the HDTV, closest to the magazines and a view of the entry. In some "sick" way, I find comfort in knowing that I am much younger than most of the patients there. But taking my son to the pediatrician is a completely different experience!

It begins with the appointment! You need to have advance training in this art or have several years of experience in bartering for goods in the streets of Mexico City! Once the haggling over what time is settled, they politely inform you that if you are over fifteen minutes late, they reserve the right to re-schedule. Kiss my ...what are my rights after waiting an half hour or more? Re-schedule!

The next challenge was to get my son out of school early. I have enormous respect and appreciation for our educator's and all the individual's who work to further our children but damn, their tough when you want to get your child out early. I have never broken anyone or myself out of jail..contrary to rumors and popular believe, but it can't be much different than middle school! Several pieces of paper have to be completed along with multiple forms of identification, and that got me to the office! It was amazing, it smelled exactly the same as when I was in fifth grade, just missing the odor of "ditto" ink! Of course; they immediately ask for a room number and teachers name, damn test questions. I panicked, just like when I was in school and went blank...after allowing me to stutter for a second or two,they were kind enough to look it up and page my son. As I waited, I noticed the principals office and flashed back to a very bad experience, where I was sitting like I was now, but I was waiting for one of my parents to arrive for all the wrong reasons! It was really hot in there, a real nightmare!

Off to the appointment, which we were now late for. Once we got to the building: directions provided by my son, we quickly entered and signed in....14 minutes late, I showed them! It was the moment I turned around and looked at the waiting room that I was glad the old ticker had been fixed! There were kids everywhere but only several adults. The child to adult ratio had to be six to one, and that was including me! I thought we in Utah for a second. My son quickly knew I was stunned and led me to a couple of seats in the corner, wise young man, where we sat to await our turn. I scanned the room of children and realized that I should have been wearing a surgical mask to prevent some sort of airborne infection. Sick, polluted, little germ factories, working overtime! I then noticed a beautiful young girl, maybe four or five that was just staring at me. She had long brown hair and brown eyes as large as saucers, she had her head resting on her mother's shoulder for comfort and the largest green "chunk of gunk" I have ever seen coming out of her nose! As if planned, she let out a yawn and that "chunk of gunk" became the largest nose bubble in history...popping into her mother's hair!

What contest in hell did I win to end up here?